I dunno

i know how i feel when im with him and i know how he feels.. from what he tells me
but i really can't help but keep my guard up.
i feel like i'll never be with anyone because im scared and get bored easily
and i hate falling for anyone, i hate feeling vulnerable
i'd rather not have to worry about shit like this.. not that i have to now.
i hate thinking too much.
i dont know.

used and useless

i dont know how anyone could feel left out in a two person thing, but thats how i feel. i could be taking initiative but now i feel like whatever i do wont matter. my voice is a lot smaller than the other person and i cant blame anyone but myself. i could let everything happen the way it is, take some credit and do shit i dont reaaaally wanna do but then why even do it if it's not me. and it actually bothers me to see shit out on public to things im part of and never agreed to. its funny how the person who believes in me so much also make me feel so small. i shouldnt feel this way, but i do.

RAAH

two slacker days in a row... not good.

its those damn "Spirited Away" movies!! Sister bought tons of them and 

im slowly becoming addicted trying to understand everything and their deeper meanings

and messages :| Meanwhile, this grant won't write itself.

And i NEED to record something this weekend! 

RAAH

I am but I'm not

I have been doing homework literally all day. unless you wanna count eating and watching maybe an hour of tv. and i still have soo much to do -___- and i only finished one of my assignments due tomorrow and didnt start studying for my exam.. i'm stressing but im not. i think im just too sleepy to actually be stressing. what sucks is im working tomorrow too :( i wont have time for anything this week.. boo! cant wait till friday!

waste.

When my throat becomes sore, nose gets runny and i can't record anything decent. 

You cant tell but the mic's dented and i had to tape the holder to the stand -___- 

tonight was not a good sesh for me :( now i lost a good hour or two of sleep..

waste.